Day 234

Happy new year!

Is what I should be saying in a few hours

And then giving my hubby a big kiss

Instead my hubby is on the other side of the world

And I'll probably be sleeping when the clock strikes midnight

At least I hope to

Since my 10 month old still likes to get up two times a night

My 3 year old has been waking up crying

And we're up for the day by 6

New years eve used to be getting all dressed up

Eating good food

And drinking lots if drinks

Surrounded by friends

I miss those days

I miss my husband

I miss being able to sleep all night

One day I'll be the fun crazy person on new years again Except I'll be the "old" people at the bar instead if the young ones Sad but true But I think I'll be a damn fun old person

Day 233

Today was the first day we've had enough snow to play in

And since we almost in to january in Minnesota

That is pretty crazy

We did some snow shoveling

Snow sledding

Snow foot print making

And then more shoveling

I'm expecting good sleepers tonight

But not holding my breath cause you just never know with these kiddos

It was a fun snow filled day

And from how much my 3 year old enjoyed it

I'm thinking I'll be doing much more sledding this year

Day 232

Today I believe we are all "back to normal "

Spent the afternoon swimming with friends

Had a few meltdowns today

But that's not really anything new

It was nice to get out and do something again

And it was nice to come home and take a long nap after....

Day 231

Today we cried because...

Pajamas came off

Clothes went on

Going upstairs

Staying downstairs

Eating breakfast

Not eating breakfast

Grandpa sitting by him

Grandpa talking to him

Grandpa sitting in the wrong chair

Baby sister touching him

Baby sister touching a toy

Not having the right food

Going downstairs

Tv turning off

Taking a shower

Not taking a bath

Not being able to play with toys

Taking a nap

Waking up from a nap

Going to bed

Having a blanket

Drinking water

I might have missed some

But you get the drift

Let's just hope he's still feeling a bit sick

Day 230

Today I have been married 6 years

6 years ago today I married my love

I have now spent 3 anniversaries with my husband

And 3 away from him

I miss him today

I miss him everyday

Instead of celebrating with my husband like I should

I missed him more

Was frustrated because of lack of sleep

And held a bucket as my 3 year old puked

6 years

2 kids

And 2 deployments later

And a whole lot of drama in between

I'm still glad I married the man I did

Day 229

I have officially had my worst night with 2 kids

Literally slept maybe an hour or two last night

Non-consecutive

In 15-30 minute increments

Needless to say I sure felt wonderful this morning

And with my red,dry, puffy eyes I'm sure I looked wonderful too

Between my usual non sleeping baby

I also had a 3 year old with 104 degree fever

The combination is not one I recommend

It started around 11pm with the baby crying (for no apparent reason)

Getting her back to sleep just as my son woke up crying with a high fever

Laid her back down and had 2 children bawling

And only one mommy

Luckily I was able to enlist grandma

And realized how thankful I am to be staying here for situations like these

My son woke at least once an hour all night

And in between that I dealt with the baby up and crying

I feel like I spent an entire night back and forth between them

Which I did

Overtired and annoyed to the point where I got angry at my little puppy snoring, uninterrupted and peaceful on my bed

Lucky dog

My day began at 5 am when I got my son up and put him in the hot shower to help him feel better

I did manage to sneak in two naps with sicky today

One with Grandma's help to take care of the baby

But between a dresser fall and being up checking for head injuries

Christmas eve late night

And the most horrible night in history last night

I'm running on fumes...

Day 228

Merry Christmas!

Kinda

I've actually had merrier ones

Considering I started my day by being puked on

I'd say there are better ways to start the day

My 3 year old spent the day laying on a makeshift bed on the floor

Alternating between watching movies and sleeping

It's safe to say his first 2 christmas 's were better then this one

So it didn't feel like much of a celebration today

Family left

Little boy got sick

Huge mess left behind by the celebration yesterday

Time to put the holidays behind us I think

And a sick little boy to bed

Day 227

Christmas eve

Wonderful family

Beautiful church service

Mostly behaving kids

Remembering why we are here

Giving thanks to the Lord

Incredible dinner

Gifts galore

Wonderful day

Day 226

Tonight might have been one of the scariest nights of my life

As I watched my 3 year old get crushed under a dresser

And in my process to save him

I literally threw my 9 month old across the room

As of now we are all ok

If you don't count the 10 years of my life I just lost

I believe I experienced life flashing before my eyes

I have no memory except watching what seemed to be slow motion

Of a dresser crushing my son

When he crawled out on his own

And I breathed again

I looked down to see my 9 month old on the ground

With no memory of throwing her there

And instantly felt horrible and sick again for possibly hurting her

Thank God is all I can think right now

Thank God thank God thank God

My kids are ok

And that is all that matters I am also slightly bummed about the destroyed tv The tv....is definetly a goner

Day 225

Oh how I hate Walmart at christmas time

Went there today

Of course with 2 kids

To return a gift

And pick up a sympathy card

I left with one bag

Over an hour later

How does it take that long to run in and out of a store?

The millions of people and their carts blocking my way didn't help

Either did the long check out lines

Or the two kids who were on the verge of lunch and nap time

Have I mentioned I HATE holidays at Walmart??

Cause I do

Day 224

A day of swimming

And naps for everyone

And a lovely gingerbread house

A good exhausting day

Minimal tantrums today

Fairly easy bedtime for the baby

A wide awake 3 year old

But at least he's quiet

Somewhat quiet

I'll take what I can get

Last day of school until after the new year is tomorrow

And I hope I survive my week of cancelled activities

I can only hope the new year comes fast

A year of my husband returning

Going back home

And my family becoming whole again

Day 223

Had an awesome kid free night tonight

Good food

Good wine

A handful of my best friends

An awesome break

A refreshed mama

Day 222

I am now realizing what holiday breaks are for parents

Dreaded time

When school and activities are cancelled

And you are forced into spending countless hours

Making attempts to entertain children


This week no ECFE activities

Which is half our week

Next week no school either

I am officially an adult as I cannot wait for the holidays to be over

So all normal activities start again

When did this happen?

Day 221

Today I had two blissful hours kid free


To put the icing on the cake I spent part of it shopping for myself

On someone elses dime

Doesn't get much better

Unless they had handed me wine in the store to sip while I shopped

Of course the rest of the shopping was errands

But amazing how wonderful a Walmart trip can be without dragging two kids along

Practically enjoyable

Walmart kidless is my eviquilent of a spa trip now days

Sadly I'm not really kidding

It was nice

I'm refreshed

And ready to tackle kids again

Day 220

Had a military shopping spree today

Went to the armory for some christmas fun

Literally had tables and table of toys

Gave my son a huge bag and told him to go at it

So much for teaching him the real meaning of christmas

That pretty much went down the drain today

But it was nice

And he loved it

And we have a whole bunch more stuff

That I'm sure grandpa and grandma were just thrilled to see

Since we don't have enough extra crap around their house already

Hope they just keep remembering how much they will miss

The noise

And clutter

And dirt

When we are gone again!

Day 219

Today was semi successful

One major tantrum

And a very behaved little boy the rest of the day

What a pleasant change

Makes me feel so much better too

Tomorrow we are stopping by the armory for christmas gifts

And I am looking toward to conversation with fellow wives

Who get it

And might have some advice for me

As far as 3 year olds go

One day at a time

I'm feeling blessed with my one tantrum day

Day 218

Another holiday type of day

Attempted santa visit #3

Or was it#4

I can't remember anymore

Either way there was crying again

Still dealing with deployment tantrums

I get so frustrated with him

Then as he tells his grandparents about his holiday games

He makes the comment "my daddy wasn't there"

And my heart breaks for him

No clue how to help a 3 year old through deployment

Which is a horrible feeling as a mother

Day 217

I believe I am dealing with a little toddler "missing daddy syndrome"

Couple that with the jealously of baby sister

And we got some fun times rolling in over here

His tantrums

and crying

and hitting

and kicking

and yelling

and disobeying

have quadrupuled since dad left again

His fake baby cry is about to drive me insane

If i see him throw himself on the floor one more time for no real reason

I just might lose it

And that hard part is that I know a lot has to do with dad being gone

And I have ZERO clue how to fix that

I'm caught between feeling bad for him and just being annoyed

Part of me wants to baby him becuase I feel bad

Then I realize it is something he has to deal with

And he can't go through life throwing tantrums because life throws something at him he dislikes

Rock and a hard place

Wish I knew how to make it better

I half say that for myself

cause him being better would make mommy MUCH better

But mostly it hurts my heart to see my little 3 year old hurt too

Day 216

Oh what a day

A day of crying

And lack of napping

And fighting

And more crying

Let's just say that the brother/sister love is not strong today

More like a jealously and hate

Maybe hate is a strong word

Strong dislike of each other today

Unfortuntaly I am only one person

And the one person everyone wants

At the same time

Every time

Every minute

wow

Am i going to love bedtime tonight

If I hear any more crying or whining today

I'm not sure what I will do

I'd say lose my mind

But it would probably look more like sitting in a corner and crying

If you can't tell my deployment funk has not lifted yet....

Day 215

My child has lost his mind

Or better yet

i will probably lose my mind soon dealing with him

He is upset with his dad gone

He is jealous of his sister

he is slightly sick

He is waiting for Christmas

He is inside all of the time since it is cold out

And he is three

Combine that and you just get a bundle of fun

(insert sarcasam)

Maybe my funk stems with him

Hard to say

But I truely think my mind will be gone

If I have to deal with much more whining and crying

For no real reason

And I'm not exagerating on that either

He was literally on the ground screaming and crying today

Because there were not enough cookies in the box of Nilla wafers

They were not gone, just not full

Really???

Add that to my newly mobile 9 month old

Who is covered in bruises from her new mobility skills

And the fact that I have to save her life countless times a day

I guess maybe my tired funk could be steming from something right before my eyes

I have a headache just writing about it

Day 214

Still feeling my deployment

holidays

not sleeping at night

funk

Just can't snap out of it right now

And I hate that

Probably the weather too

Were not out in the blue, sunny, warm days right now

We are running from builiding to car

bundled up from the cold

And not a pretty winter cold

Because there is NO snow

But a dull, dreary, gray cold

Sigh...

running out of ideas to get back to feeling like me again

Damn deployment

Day 213

Tonight I made some kid free plans

Nothing big

Just a drink or two out with some friends

I even made the plans for after bedtime

Thinking I'd put them to bed

Head out after

And they'd never be the wiser

My kids could sense my plans

My 3 year old was ip and at em

Assuring me before I left that when he had a problem he would go talk to grandma and papa

Mu 9 month old

Who has been passing out by 8:30 every night

Was wide awake


Then as I tried to get ready with her she face planted on the bathroom tile floor

Then I had to make sure I wasn't dealing with a serious head injury

Finally leaving

Came back to a baby up until 11:15

A 3 year old crying restlessly in his sleep

Which caused me to be up every hour checking on him

And also checking on the baby with a large bump on her head

A 4 am wake up

And ready for church my 8am

Guess they are punishing me for my free night

Man am I tired


And made me stop to insure I didn't have a major head injury on

Day 212

One if those days continues

Had a good day

Had some playtime

That involved me getting some adult time too

Which makes it so much better

But still feeling a bit off

And so tired

Maybe the holidays are putting me into a deployment funk

Maybe when everyone else is sad about the holiday season being. Iver

I'll be glad its done and gone

And were closer to homecoming day

Just call me grinch this year....

Day 211

Preschool and library today

Nothing to exciting

Nothing to boring

No major meltdowns

Feeling tired

And slightly down in the dumps

Wishing I was at my own home

And in my own space

Just wishing life was back to normal

Just one of those days

Day 210

Today we had doctors appointment

And flu shots

Or one flu shot

2 flu mists

Thank goodness I avoided the shot

I was getting a little worried

Everything went good

Until I took the games away from the 3 year old

And once again dragged him out crying

Oh well

Its kinda the norm lately

Wasn't the best trip

But it certainly wasn't the worst

And we're all healthy so I can't complain

Day 209

Well back to the normal day today

Kids, kids and more kids

All kid stuff all day

I'm ready for bedtime

And a little relaxing me time

And sleep

We'll see how easily these kids give that to me

Sometimes its a lot of work for a little time

Day 208

Had some MUCH needed mommy time tonight

As in just mommy no kids

Ahhhhh

So nice

It was just under 2 hours

And I wished it could have been longer

But something was better then nothing

I feel revived

Ready to take on two again

And I came home with a pair of designer jeans

And I only feel a little bit guilty about spending money on myself

Day 206

Today was our church Christmas program

Not thinking about the 3 year olds involved

They had their only practice for and hour and a half

Right before the actual program

My son's exact words after the program started we're

"I'm done with this...can I go play now? "

Needless to say he spent most of the program

Crying quietly

As he laid sprawled across the floor

Upside was that we were by a side aisle

So it wasn't as noticeable

Day two of holiday fun=failure

Day if holiday fun #2=failure

Day 206

Holiday day kind of day today

We dressed up

Went on a snowless sleigh ride

Saw santa

Took pictures

Ate candy canes

Made christmas ornaments

Painted Christmas picture frames

We did everything holiday

Are completed exhausted

And even more excited for Christmas

Day 205

What a day

What a nightmare of a day

Everyone told me when the baby started crawling I'd have issues with the oldest

Everyone is right

I swear he was slightly possessed at times today

I've been kicked

Hit

Yelled at

Screamed at

Watched tantrum after tantrum

His baby sister has also fallen victim today

Here's to hoping its just a BAD day

I mean let's REALLY hope its just a bad day

Or I am in trouble

And in slight danger of losing my mind

Day 204

Today is December 1

And the first official day of having a crawler!

I was hoping she'd do it while daddy was home

But she was a few days late

But she's on the move

Doing good

And my life is about to get crazier

With two kids on the move