Day 294

Well the big blizzard warning

Everything cancelled

And we got maybe 1/2 inch of snow

Needless to say we were not home bound today

Which was good But oddly disappointing I guess I just haven't seen a good snowstorm in a while And was weirdly looking forward to it Our house got about a foot of snow So if we'd been home we would have gotten it But if I was home it means I would have been in charge of getting rid of the snow So in that case I probably would have been wishing for the opposite Guess you always want what you can't have

Day 293

I don't know who replaced my sweet little baby girl

With a screaming

Crying

Hitting

Tantrum throwing girl

But I wish they'd bring my sweet baby back

Because this child is NO fun

If this is any indication of her teenage years

I am in TROUBLE

Seriously

Bedtime please come soon

Wine come even sooner....

Day 292

I officially hate car seats

All day yesterday cleaning

Trying to switch to a bigger carseat

Failing at that

Failing at getting car seats back in car

Frozen fingers because its WINTER

I hate car seats

This is the hubby's job

And boy was I missing him today

Day 291

Holy snow

Snow snow is finally here

Probably a good 5 inches

We made it to church

Even though we probably shouldn't have been on the roads

But it was cut short because of the weather

I also started my orientation for school today

And now I've had a taste if school again

Am even more scared and excited then before

Good thing I got my planner

Now if I could just find time to organize it

So I can be organized

Day 290

Had a more take it easy day

My baby was running a fever most of the day

Which lucky for me does not effect her levels of crabbiness to much

Also gave me a a rare chance to run errands with my oldest

Something we don't get to do enough

And despite a few non listening incidents

It was a good time for us

And good grandma sleeping time for my daughter

We ended the night early

And I was so excited to get to sleep early

However a pooping event with the baby delayed it

And that damn lifetime movie....

Day 289

Today I decided I need to spend some good money on a planner

I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed with life

I've been doing ok so far

But not being at my own house

And so many kid activities

And doing it on my own leaves very little room for error

And now that I'm throwing grad school in the mix

I think I might need some help

And knowing we'll be moving back soon

And having a homecoming

On top of everything else

I'm just asking to forget something

Most likely the most important thing

Like a mortgage payment

Yep...I think we'll go planner shopping tomorrow

Day 288

After last night if staying out way to late with family

And not having kids to bed until 11pm

(Terrible I know)

And getting up early for school once again

We are all ready for early bed tonight

I think I am more than any one else

I've had crabby snotty nosed kids today

And I am ready to have no snot wiped on me

No kids whining and crying at my feet

And just silence

And maybe a dvr...

Day 287

It is official

I am a student again

I am on school again

Not just any school

GRADUATE school

I am so proud of myself

Excited

Happy

And scared out of my mind

I now have to figure out how to be

A wife

Mother

Homemaker

And student

Military spouse

But 5 years from now I will have NO regrets

And I am very proud

And did I mention scared out of my mind!?!

Day 286

Well snow got in my way

I got up early

Did my workout

Would have been ready to go for a day if shopping

To bad the roads were covered in snow

And it continued to snow through most of the day

And hearing about a car accident near us that killed 4 people

Definitely swayed me to NOT to drive anywhere

Besides Walmart

And the mall

Wasn't my day if shopping I planned

But it got us out if the house

And got some errands ran

And after nap my son and i enjoyed the snow as much as we could

With some sledding

And snow angels

And deep snow walking

And snow castle building

So the day still turned out as a good day

And isn't that all that matters?

Day 285

Today was the first day in longer than I can remember that we went no where

We played at the house all day

Partly because of the president day holiday

Partly because of the afternoon snowstorm

Wasn't as long of a day as I thought it might be

The world didn't come crashing down because I wasn't busy for every second of the day

It was actually kind of nice

Of course I am already planning my extra busy day for tomorrow

And as long as snow doesn't get in my way it should be a long busy day

Old habits die hard I guess

Day 284

Church and Sunday school

I was in my own with 2 kids in church today

Was a little worried

But no need!

Kids were great

And my baby even stayed in the nursery for the last half

I had a blissful half hour of worship to myself

I probably listened to and enjoyed the sermon for the first time on years

A great day

Even if it meant my baby was growing up...

Day 283

My frustration levels have been at an all time high today

Which means my patience has been low

Which means its been a long day

I'm tired

Of pretty much everything if you were to ask me at this very minute

And as much as I avoid free time

Because free time gives me time to think

I'm looking toward to our long weekend of nothing to do

Of course when those days come around

I might be singing a different tune

Day 282

Had a mental breakdown

Just everything that I stay so busy so I don't have to think about it

Hit me head on

Starting with an early morning

And having to get off the treadmill so my dad could get on on

Which was annoying and apparently all I needed to be set off A reminder That I'm not in my house Not using my things I have to work around other people Not myself That if I have a free moment from kids Thar means nothing if it doesn't work around at least 2 other people Because once again I am a guest here right now I think if my son wasn't in school I might have started packing my things That is how frustrated I am at not having my own space Or with presidents day weekend we could have left for the weekend But there is no water turned on there And I'd have to get food And who knows what creatures I'd have to clean out So I got over it Just like everything else And started my countdown to hubby finally coming home again

Day 281

Had some preschool today

And a late night ecfe event

By late night I mean 4:30

It was a nice evening energy burner though

And made our evening fly by

I love our busy days and passing the time

But had a wake up call that we might be a little to busy

When I remembered an anniversary party we we're suppose to go to

For my husbands aunt and uncle

That took place LAST Saturday

Never even crossed my mind

Which is NOT like me

Usually I am the ocd one keeping track of everything

I feel horrible

And think that maybe I might be taking on a little to much...

Day 280

School and library

Exciting day for us

Finally got some snow today too

That's something we haven't seen most of the winter

I keep thinking this would have been a great winter to be at the house alone

Since I would have barely had to clear out the driveway at all

My son loved helping his papa shovel

And my baby loved watching them

Now we just have to hope the snow gets cleared out for our morning drive to preschool

When we start another busy day early morning

Day 279

Today is valentines day

I've never been big on this day

Kinda always thought it was a slightly dumb day

Liking the day after better because that's when all the good candy is half price

But despite all that I'm still a little sad

Or I should say a little more sad

That my love isn't here on this day

To hear my complaints about how much I really don't like this day

Because despite my feelings

I still celebrate with the kiddos

And its another reminder that he is missing a first for our daughter

And the fun and excitement my son is having

Day 278

And we begin again

Another week

Another busy schedule

Another week closer

Today we did our usual

Along with making some valentine chex mix to send the hubby

And getting valentines ready for a preschool party tomorrow

Nothing to exciting

Nothing to boring

Day 277

My 3 year old is getting sneaky

Or really missing his daddy

Hard to say really

After getting pulled out if the bath early

For not listening and hurting his sister

He stopped bawling to say

"I miss my daddy"

"I can't do it because daddy is gone "

Of course I immediately stop being mad

And start feeling bad for him

Then he followed up with

"I need daddy here to put in my underwear"

Hmmmm....

Now I'm feeling more suspicious rather then bad for him

Guess I'll give him the benefit of the doubt

He is 3 after all

That behavior can't be starting yet

Right?!?

Day 276

What an exhausting day

Started with some library storytime

Then went to the indoor playground

With friends

And played

And played

And played

I think my son ran for about 4 hours straight

He was exhausted Literally came home and passed out on the couch I on the other hand was ready to drink heavily while there It was pure craziness With way to many kids running around And to few parents I couldn't even count how many times I yelled at other people's kids today But I guess all that matters is my kid had a wonderful day

Day 275

Today I read a blog post from a supposed "real army wife"

According to this woman national guard soldiers are not actually soldiers

Wives of national guard soldiers are not army wives

NG do not know how to act

How to behave

How to respect the uniform

Basically according to this idiot

If you are NG you are not a soldier

Her differences were that her husband is deployed more than once

(My husband is currently on his 3rd tour)

When they come home from deployment her husband still wears his uniform to work

(My husband also wears his uniform to work)

And for those reasons NG are not soldiers???

My blood is boiling in response to her blog

She sounds so horrible and ignorant that I'm almost embarrassed for her

If I didn't want to punch her along the side of her head

People like her are a disgrace to our military

And as much as she wants to say she is a supportive military wive

She might be the furthest thing from anything that should be representing our soldiers

ALL of our soldiers...including national guard

Day 274

Ever had that moment where you question yourself

Where you are not sure you are right or wrong

I had that moment this morning

I'm so big on routine

And knowing what happens next

I might complain about it sometimes

But the truth is it really is how we survive

So when I walked into preschool this morning

And things were different

I went into slight panic mode

Is it really Thursday?

Am I off a day?

Am I at the wrong preschool?

Did I mess up somewhere?

Is it the wrong time?

Am I early?

Late?

Is this the wrong class?

Turns out there were just a couple differences

Like small differences

As in a parent I've never seen

And a closed door

Seriously

That was it

I feel a little foolish now thinking back

Maybe I need to let up on my routine slightly

Very slight

Don't want to do anything crazy now

Day 273

Sometimes it feels like my life is ground hog day

Every day is just a repeat if the one before it

I call this survival mode

Until we reach an ending

And then a new survival mode comes

They call that reintegration

Probably the hardest one

But no one would understand that

Unless they are living it

Day 272

Today we celebrated Grandma's 60th birthday

It was so fun to see my 3 year old excited about it

And happy to give her a card from him

And sing happy birthday

Mostly we had a typical day

With a few extras thrown in

Its hard to believe its less then a month from my baby's 1st birthday

I feel like we are just getting closer and closer to the end of this crazy year

And on to the next crazy year

Of learning to be a family again

Looking back now its hard to  believe how many months have gone by

It goes fast looking at the big picture

And slower then anything everyday

Day 271

Oh Monday funday

Or Monday

Just like every other Monday

Open gym

Playing at the slide

Some yelling at kids that weren't mine

I never know the correct protocol for those situations

When the parents of children are sitting right there

And doing or saying nothing when their children are misbehaving

But when two of their boys are holding on to my child and not letting go

I'm obviously going to yell at them

And when I hear the same group of children plotting how to "get him"

Him being my 3 year old

Who is smaller then all of them

Again...I'm going to yell at them

And I won't feel bad about it

I guess if someone wants to yell at ne for that they are welcome to

I guess the correct protocol is standing up for my child no matter what

And I really don't think about it until later on

And those parents never said anything to me anyway

Maybe I was just doing the dirty work for everyone

Day 270

Exciting news today

We've finally booked our honeymoon

7 years and two kids later

We will finally take our vacation together

Ocean

Beach

Pools

Drinks

Sleeping when we want

Waking up when we want

Eating when we want

Taking naps when we want

Working out when we want

Doing nothing all day long

Paradise

Just me and my love

Day 269

Had a disappointing night tonight

Planned on going out for a while after kids were in bed

Never happened

Missed the party bus that was going out

Because I had to put kids to bed first

And would have had to drive out of town

Basically it just never happened

And I was disappointed

And annoyed

And sad

That I sat at home alone instead

Again

Day 268

Had a kid/grown up playdate today

I love those kind of playdates

Kids play on their own

Grown up talk is enjoyed

Wine may or may not have been involved

Makes such a difference in a day

Kids are exhausted and happu

Mommy is happy

Makes for a good day

Day 267

School day

Like most days right now

Errand running with a crabby, tired 3 year old was not the finest moment of my day

And ending with tropical night at ECFE

Hopefully we can all get some good sleep tonight after our busy day

Small hint to my non sleeping through the night 11 month old!

Day 266

Nothing to exciting again

I wish I had more things to write about

To make it more exciting to look back on this time

But the truth is we have a routine

A very specific routine

And that same thing week after week

Is what gets us through each week

It makes the days fly by

And the minutes tick on

So that the time until we are whole again

Doesn't seem so far away

And we aren't sitting around

Wasting a year

Watching a clock

We're living

And surviving

While we watch the clock tick by